What's stopping you?
#1
I had to start this thread after reading Ebony's thread on career choice. Everyone had such interesting things they wanted to do with their lives, I started wondering if they actually planned to do them, or did they feel something was stopping them from doing them.

Is it money? A perceived lack of talent or low self-esteem?

If you really want to do it, why the heck not?
Reply
#2
I'm not sure why I didn't follow my dream per say. I wanted to be a teacher for as long as I can remember. I got to college and for some reason that's not what I did. I'm only 2 1/2 years out of school and I've had 3 different jobs.

I've looked into going back and think I probably will in January. I finally realized that I need to suck up my fears and just do it. Sometimes I'm too afraid of failure, so I don't try new things. In my mind that makes me a failure. Lately I've been doing things I'd normally be uncomfortable doing. Nothing really big, I just don't like the unknown.
Bootstrap's Bootstraps.
Reply
#3
I'm going to do mine. Or at least I'm going to try. Smile

I've got the money, the talent, might have the looks one day and certainly have the big enough head. Wink

I don't want to get into a job that I hate, I certainly don't want an office job and I'd hate to grow old and think that I hadn't made an impact or at least done all I can to make my dreams come true. There's no harm in trying.

I'm gonna have fun. :bg:
Reply
#4
I've actually been seriously looking into this Gilly, and trying to find a way to realise this dream. I've spent so much of my life just not knowing what I want to do, and this fits so well. I've always just loved patterns, and even as a small child I remember the things I liked to draw the most were random patterns. But I definitely have some huge obstacles.

For one, where I live. I live in Calgary, heart of the oil industry in Canada. If you live here you pretty much are gonna work for the oil industry or for something that services the oil industry. Unless you are a cowboy. There probably isn't a textile mill within a thousand miles of here. Which brings me to my second stumbling block. After hours of searching the net, I've only been able to find one school in Canada that offers textile design, and that's in Nova Scotia. Might as well be on the other side of the world. Funny, but in the UK it seems like every dinky town's uni offers textile design, but not here.

So I've been looking and trying to see if I can find a school that offers a correspondence or internet course. So far, no luck.

Third stumbling block is money. My hubby works at Wal-mart, and his income barely covers the gas, phone and utilities. It's hard enough I think to come up with money to go to school if you're a single, but when you have a mortgage to pay and a family to support it becomes nearly impossible.

I haven't given up hope, and keep thinking when there's a will there's a way. But I'm afraid that maybe it's all just a pipe-dream, and one that I'll never be able to bring to fruition.
Buying and collecting fabric is the goal. If you actually DO something with it, you're an overachiever.
Reply
#5
Lack of money

( I wanted to run my own tigers, bears, and elephants rehabilitation centre, and also another rehab centre for captured turtles and dolphins)
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
Reply
#6
Quote:Originally posted by Ebony

So I've been looking and trying to see if I can find a school that offers a correspondence or internet course. So far, no luck.


Which schools have you checked Ebony? There are lots of Universities in the UK that offer courses by correspondence. I'll check a couple out for you - maybe I find something.

Back on topic, I think we tend to limit ourselves in our career choices. When I was a kid I wanted to become a painter, a shark expert, a volcano expert, an archaeologist, etc. Then I decided I wanted to travel and paint. Out of what I called 'common sense' I did an MBA after my psychology degree - I hated it with a passion. Thankfully I ended up working in an organisation for disabled people, an area which was my original specialisation. That has brought me to Africa where I have started painting like there's no tomorrow. I've realised that I don't need to be a famous painter - I can just paint for the fun of it. My passions are kids and painting. I wanted to do a PhD in Clinical Psychology but I've postponed it for a bit - it's not a question of 'if' but 'when'. In the meantime I'm going to do a degree in law (by correspondence). I'm sorry for boring you all. It's just that I believe life is too short to limit yourself. If you aim high, then you can achieve a lot...if you aim low then you'll be stuck in a job you don't like, crying over the dreams you have lost. You need to go back to childhood thinking - when we were kids, nothing seemed impossible. But then we tend to grow up.

Sorry again for the sermon guys Smile

Btw, summer...as I said in another thread, you can always work voluntarily in rehab centres for animals. You don't need to own one. You can already start working on your dream.
Reply
#7
Excellent question.

In my case, I certainly tried to write science fiction and fantasy. Meanwhile, I had to make a living. I reached the point where I had about half a dozen stories published in various amateur publications. The most money I ever made: Ten dollars. At this point, I was burning out; I had said pretty much what I wanted to say. I had made one attempt to write an SF novel and one attempt to write a fantasy novel. In each case, I could not make them longer than 40,000 wards, which is just too darn short for a novel. They were also very bad. (No false modesty here; some of my short stories were pretty good.) It was clear that this was not ever going to be my profession. It could be a fun hobby, but not a career.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't face up to science fiction.
Reply
#8
Ebony, I have tried looking through the Universities that I know offer courses by distance learning but I didn't find any textile design. I will ask my brother's girlfriend who's a designer herself and who is always following one course or another whether she knows of something Smile
:thud: REMEMBER: When I'm queen, things WILL be different.
Reply
#9
Quote:Originally posted by Rain

Btw, summer...as I said in another thread, you can always work voluntarily in rehab centres for animals. You don't need to own one. You can already start working on your dream.


Actually there is a programme for youths here in Malaysia to learn more about the plight of our Tigers. There is also a chance to work voluntarily at the rehab centre there, but it's like a few hundreds kilometres away, I wish I could just drop everything and go but I can't, I still have my bills to pay :dead:

But I am volunteering at our national zoo! Although it's not a rehab centre :tongue: I still get to work with animals and it's very nearby, around 10 minutes drive from my house, currently I work with the orang utans they're so cute! Maybe I'll get the chance to work with the tigers there someday Smile
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
Reply
#10
That's great!! At least you're working towards your dream. I've worked mostly with dolphins and turtles. It's a fantastic job, tiring but great.
Reply
#11
Quote:Originally posted by Rain
That's great!! At least you're working towards your dream. I've worked mostly with dolphins and turtles. It's a fantastic job, tiring but great.


dolphins and turtles??????????????????????????? oh my ultimate dream job, how I envy thee! which coast? we dont have dolphins here, the water is too warm, Confusedad: but we have turtles! But the turtles coast is quite far away from kuala lumpur, it's in Terengganu, on the coast of Rantau Abang
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
Reply
#12
Quote:Originally posted by summer
dolphins and turtles??????????????????????????? oh my ultimate dream job, how I envy thee! which coast? we dont have dolphins here, the water is too warm, Confusedad: but we have turtles! But the turtles coast is quite far away from kuala lumpur, it's in Terengganu, on the coast of Rantau Abang


I was a volunteer marine mammal medic (dolphins, turtles, small whales) for 5 years. It was in the Mediterranean. We had a number of resident dolphin pods, but most were migrating. We didn't have a rehab centre, though we were developing one for turtles. With dolphins and whales we had to euthanise those that couldn't be refloated immediately. It was sad but necessary. So we carried out rescues etc, and also research on the resident dolphins. We also had to have continuous training, both in rescue techniques but also in the different species of dolphins and turtles. It was lots of fun and a lot of work. I had to resign when I moved to Africa, though my team coordinator said I could return at any time.
:thud: REMEMBER: When I'm queen, things WILL be different.
Reply
#13
I think it is myself stopping me. I am highly risk-averse and crave security....so borrowing enough money to create a health & safety approved kitchen/work-area and then trusting that I will find sufficient market scares the hell out of me! It also feels like a very stressful responsibility making wedding cakes in particular - although everyone I've made them for has been really pleased and I have complete strangers phone me up because I've been recommended by someone at one of the weddings (so they must like the cakes!) I worry endlessly that the bride & groom won't like the cake and I will have spoilt their special day....natural worrier here!
We are all of us in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars...
Reply
#14
Quote:Originally posted by Rain
I was a volunteer marine mammal medic (dolphins, turtles, small whales) for 5 years. It was in the Mediterranean. We had a number of resident dolphin pods, but most were migrating. We didn't have a rehab centre, though we were developing one for turtles. With dolphins and whales we had to euthanise those that couldn't be refloated immediately. It was sad but necessary. So we carried out rescues etc, and also research on the resident dolphins. We also had to have continuous training, both in rescue techniques but also in the different species of dolphins and turtles. It was lots of fun and a lot of work. I had to resign when I moved to Africa, though my team coordinator said I could return at any time.


Bring me with you!!!!! Please please please!
Wow the mediterranean, *sigh* which island did you base your rehab centre? It is sad to hear about all those poor dolphins and whales, wish I was there to help you....
(I guess you can tell I'm excited, I've been longing to work with dolphins since I discovered the discovery channel (8 yrs old) and whales too? what sort of turtles did u guys discover hovering in the mediterranean?? 5 years? Can I be a marine mammal medic too? Without any qualification? (please please please) I never even seen a dolphin face to face before (I Know sad huh?) *sigh or I could always watch the Discovery channel*
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
Reply
#15
Quote:Originally posted by summer
Bring me with you!!!!! Please please please!
Wow the mediterranean, *sigh* which island did you base your rehab centre? It is sad to hear about all those poor dolphins and whales, wish I was there to help you....
(I guess you can tell I'm excited, I've been longing to work with dolphins since I discovered the discovery channel (8 yrs old) and whales too? what sort of turtles did u guys discover hovering in the mediterranean?? 5 years? Can I be a marine mammal medic too? Without any qualification? (please please please) I never even seen a dolphin face to face before (I Know sad huh?) *sigh or I could always watch the Discovery channel*


LOL....calm down, calm down Smile

We were based in Malta...tiny island south of Sicily. Since it is at the centre of the Med, it gets a lot of visits by dolphins. It's not sad that you've never seen a dolphin - if you live far away from them it can't really be helped. I saw a lot of them last weekend in Zanzibar. The Indian Ocean is stuffed full of dolphins...mostly bottle-nose. We got mostly common and striped dolphins. Btw, if you really want to see dolphins, skip dolphin shows - they're cruel and you don't really get to see the dolphins for real. That's another thing we did - lobby against captivity. Anyways, there are many places, like Scotland, where you can get to see them in the wild. I don't know about your side of the world.

Turtles in the Med are of 3 kinds: leatherback, loggerhead and green. There's a massive campaign in the Med to save their breeding places because most of the beaches have been turned into tourist resorts. I remember one of my rescue team friends had to have 3 small turtles in her bath for a couple of days until we could release them because we had no rehab centre.

About being a medic, yes of course. We were trained by British Mammal Medic Assoc. and then we had to keep having refresher courses. Then they gave different training to the biologists and vets in the group. So we were trained in rescue, refloatation techniques etc, vets got info about taking blood samples, recognising commong illnesses etc, and the biologists were taught how to take samples and test them, etc. Anyways, you can go yourself to the UK for training, or if you're a big enough group they can come to you. The refresher courses need to be done once a year but those are only for a couple of days at a time. Good luck with this. I hope you achieve your dream. Six years ago it was one of mine Smile
Reply
#16
Quote:Originally posted by Rain
Ebony, I have tried looking through the Universities that I know offer courses by distance learning but I didn't find any textile design. I will ask my brother's girlfriend who's a designer herself and who is always following one course or another whether she knows of something Smile

Thanks Rain. I appreciate the efforts in my behalf. Looking at what you do with your life really inspires me not to give up. I like your sig too - it fits you so well.

Quote:by Sue I think it is myself stopping me. I am highly risk-averse and crave security....so borrowing enough money to create a health & safety approved kitchen/work-area and then trusting that I will find sufficient market scares the hell out of me! It also feels like a very stressful responsibility making wedding cakes in particular - although everyone I've made them for has been really pleased and I have complete strangers phone me up because I've been recommended by someone at one of the weddings (so they must like the cakes!) I worry endlessly that the bride & groom won't like the cake and I will have spoilt their special day....natural worrier here!


I can so relate to what you're saying - I'm just not a risk taker at all either. But I'm trying to learn to be a little different. After all I think you can never get what you really want out of life if you don't take any risks.

My sister is a caterer and makes stunning wedding cakes. She started out gradually - mind, she did have a working hubby, so she had a bit more of a security net. It took her quite a while to build a strong reputation, and her business has not been without it's disasters and confrontations, but she is in big demand now all around the Salt Lake Valley. However, at your present position, you probably make more now than what she does after being in business for 25 years. So of course you have to weigh what is most important to you.
Buying and collecting fabric is the goal. If you actually DO something with it, you're an overachiever.
Reply
#17
Quote:Originally posted by Ebony
Thanks Rain. I appreciate the efforts in my behalf. Looking at what you do with your life really inspires me not to give up. I like your sig too - it fits you so well.


Gee Ebony...thanks. Didn't want to come across as 'preachy' but it's a topic close to heart. I've seen so many people give up their dreams - it's sad. Actually the road less travelled can be tough - being away from family and friends in a country so different from what you're used to is one example. But then again, Africa is such an adventure. The sig could also include "living out your dreams ain't as easy as it seems". But it's all so worthwhile Smile

Go for it Sue...start small and then if you're really into it expand your business - you don't even have to leave your job. Eventually you may have to, especially if you have sufficient business. And btw, the bride and groom will love your cakes Smile
:thud: REMEMBER: When I'm queen, things WILL be different.
Reply
#18
Quote:Originally posted by Rain
Good luck with this. I hope you achieve your dream. Six years ago it was one of mine Smile



I am definitely in awe, I didn't know there were any marine mammal medics here, you are definitely a pleasant surprise Rain Smile And thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement, it really meant a lot to me. We don't have dolphins here but we do have turtle rehab centres (the one I told you about) and mostly leatherbacks, they're massive, awesome creatures aren't they? And the nearest dolphins are in the South Pacific, I hope to be following your footsteps someday Smile
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time
Reply
#19
Quote:Originally posted by Ebony
I haven't given up hope, and keep thinking when there's a will there's a way. But I'm afraid that maybe it's all just a pipe-dream, and one that I'll never be able to bring to fruition.
Ebony--there are foundations that provide grants to support women returning to college for second careers. Get ahold of a Foundation Guide and start looking. Check out the internet too. Where there's a will there is a way. You will find it. Keep seeking!
"Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of Godlight' in the woods of our experience."
C.S. Lewis
Reply
#20
I'm living my dreams at least the struggling part. :bg: I'm a writer and now I'm starting to develop an interest in photography. I'm not published yet, but I will be as both a writer and photographer, whether I change the world is another story.

Ebony- since you seem to do this naturally you could also simply start teaching yourself as you look for schools.

Vicki- if your short stories are good perhaps you could make a career out of that. People tend to focus more on the novel writing but there are writers who making a living writing short fiction. Perhaps you just weren't meant to write novels. Don't sell yourself short, short stories are incredibly difficult, I can't do short. But I can write novels with ease I never really have writer's block and I can write 3000 words per day if I just have the time and i'm good my peers have told me so. But I have difficulty with short stories I can't imagine the idea of writing a story less 10,000 words much less 5,000. Perhaps you just weren't meant to be a novelist.

Summer/Rain- All you're talk about dolphins and such has made me curious what would one have to do to learn to work these animals as a volunteer?
Reply

MYCode Guide

Forum Jump: